It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
