she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
