who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
