Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
