I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
