Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
