Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
These tits shall not be calmed
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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