I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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