my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
