Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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