There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
