So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
