worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
