Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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