At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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