Whoa Z and x make the same sound
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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