so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
