Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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