He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
