We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
