That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
