you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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