No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
