I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
