Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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