She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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