there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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