so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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