: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
