nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
my liver is dry heaving
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
