no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Couch. On fire.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
