I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
