just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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