I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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