Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I wish there were birth control emojis
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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