He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
