You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
