A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
