She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
