everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
