Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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