Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
