Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
