my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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