I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
