Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
