i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
