I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
