Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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