I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
