I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so let's talk penis.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
