it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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