I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize