You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
