Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I had to cum in my sink.
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