I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
