Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
