they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
