you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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