best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
