It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
