What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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