brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize