So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
