Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
