One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize